you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
