Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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