grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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