id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize