No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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