i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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