A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
