I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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