The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
