Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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