hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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