I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
