you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
