I am puke
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
