do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize