I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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