Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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