he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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