She's JV to your varsity
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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