haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we made out on top of his cat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
