got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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