You can't motorboat a personality
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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