He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
