So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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