Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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