the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
