We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Alive.
So much puke
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize