I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
