I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
