my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
