I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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