left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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