alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
