I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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