Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
