Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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