what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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