Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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