I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
