Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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