He disabled his match.com account in front of me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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