how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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