Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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