last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
