quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My legs feel like baby dolphins
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
