i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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