I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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