this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
