yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
