I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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