dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
