What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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