I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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