he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
