dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
