just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
