I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
