its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize