Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
