clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
