We're facebook friends in real life
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
